Wiseguy - Harry Anderson

Wise Guy - Harry Anderson

PEEK INSIDE HARRY ANDERSON: WISE GUY                                     
[Here is a perfect example of how Harry could take a standard magic 
prop, one that most magicians wouldn't give a second thought to, 
and turn it into a memorable piece of theater that encompassed 
humor, tension, shock value and of course mystery.]   
                                    
THE FINGER CHOPPER   
                                  
Harry used to do the finger chopper in the close-up room at the 
Magic Castle. When I commented on his hilarious routine he just 
shook his head and sort of brushed off the compliment. Years later 
I realized that mentioning the Finger Chopper to Harry caused his 
mind to drift back to the days when he really did the Finger 
Chopper and really got a reaction.   
                                    
It was back when Harry worked with his girlfriend Alison. She was a 
normal and pretty girl in every way... except one. Half of her 
little finger was missing. Now don't get ahead of me.   
                                    
Harry had one of those little wooden finger choppers that Micky 
Hades used to sell. The kind where the blade could be removed and 
early shown. It was a very convincing little guillotine that did 
not look like a novelty store toy. Harry would get a guy to examine 
the chopper and then cut a cigarette in half. Then he held the 
guy's hand up and told this silly story. Pointing to the first 
finger he began: "This is the King, this is the Queen and oops, 
this is the evil Duke. We're going to have to behead the evil Duke.
" He slid the guy's finger into the hole and then held tightly onto 
his fingertip... uncomfortably so.   
                                    
Now Harry looked at the audience and changed the subject completely.
                                     
                                   
"Isn't it strange how cooperative a person will be with a magician. 
I mean this guy doesn't know who the hell I am." (This was long 
before Night Court.) "I come out all dressed up. I do a couple of 
card tricks, so he jumps to the conclusion that I've been hired by 
this establishment. Then I come up with this line about an evil 
Duke. Evil Duke? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I bring 
out this device and demonstrate exactly what it does and what does 
he do? He puts his finger in it. How many of you in the audience 
have ever seen one of those little finger choppers made by the 
Adams Novelty Company? The little one with the trick blade?" (Two 
or three people always raised their hands.) "That is what we in the 
business would call a trick finger chopper. How many of you ever 
owned one of them? A couple of you. Is this one of those trick 
finger choppers? No! This is what we in the business call a 
professional finger chopper."   
                                    
Harry just kept on talking and squeezing. Pretty soon a little bead 
of sweat would start to form on the guy's forehead.   
                        
"You look a little nervous. That's because you know what's gonna 
happen, you just don't know when. That's what gets people. Not that 
it's gonna happen, but when. That's why people can deal better with 
a hurricane than they can with an earthquake. You can see a 
hurricane coming and get ready for it. But with an earthquake... 
POW! Right out of nowhere. It's Mother Nature gone psycho. People 
hate that. So in order to put you at ease, let's make Alison the 
clock. We'll pick a number like three. No, that's too common. How 
'bout four... and a half. Yeah. That's good. At the count of four 
and a half it will happen. Now you can relax. You know what's gonna 
happen and exactly when it's coming. Ready Alison? One, two, three, 
four and a half."   
                                    
At the count of four and a half, Alison extended her half finger. 
It looked exactly like the old gag where you bend your finger over. 
Then three things happened at once. Alison turned her hand around 
revealing that she had indeed lost half her finger. A look of 
terror gripped the spectator's face. And Harry slammed down the 
blade. As Harry tells it, there were wet seats every time.